What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
