one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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