I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
