Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it hurts more in the daytime
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
