..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
