Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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