Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
me + whiskey = a bad person
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
