The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
