I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
