Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want to be your penis for a week.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
