I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.