I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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