Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
