Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
