Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You're like the curious george of whores
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
