ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
