if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
