Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize