So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
