I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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