next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
