Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize