hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
