I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
