sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
