I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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