how can u be prego again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dick very happy bro
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
