But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
no you cant smoke seaweed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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