i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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