but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
