I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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