She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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