Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
