i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
