R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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