meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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