Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Shame is for Republicans.
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