can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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