I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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