Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
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Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
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Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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