I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
