i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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