My liver just broke up with me...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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