i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize