youre lurking in front of me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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