dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
