Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
