i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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