So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
