I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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