you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
