hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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