Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
