just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize