Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
