I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
