Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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