Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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