remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
