its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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