just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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