You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
