I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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