I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
